Sunday, December 3, 2006

To the Motherland


Well I'm sitting here in my deliciously comfortable bed, enjoying my last few moments at home as I prepare for and experience that I can never fully prepare for. I'm taking Mefloquin for Malaria and some of the side effects are insomnia and anxiety, which have panged me this whole week. Fear of change and the unknown. But last night the incredible peace of Jesus, which surpasses all understanding, swept away my fear and left me with excitement and eagerness for the emotional, physical, and spiritual journey that I am embarking on tomorrow.

I'm thrilled to see my Ethiopian friends again and dance and play with the resilient orphans. I'm most excited to be surrounded by the courageous African soul and learn from the culture. I was thinking about what goals I have for the journey, but I don't like to make specific goals because they can so easily become expectations. I want to enter the experience open for come what may.

But I certainly hope. I hope I learn to truly give and receive love, I hope to grow mindful of the culture: both its joys and pains. I hope to sing. I hope to dance. I hope to play. I hope to be pressed and stretched. I hope to shout to the north and the south of the wondrous love of Jesus. I hope to more fully understand my purpose.


Saturday, December 2, 2006

Year On

A few weeks ago I meandered "The Grove" of Ole Miss, visiting with old friends, smiling, and nodding at many parents and answering the simple small talk question, "Where are you in school?" The answer to which most people found shocking and pathetic. I enjoyed the look on all the mother's faces when I told them, "I'm not in school. I'm living at home." Their expression, quickly masked by a disproving smile and nod, made me giggle. But their question bothered me because it is a social assumption that I should be in school right now, which there is absolutely nothing wrong with, but I'm not ready. I don't feel too imature to be at school, or scared to leave home, it's just, I don't know what to want.

My thought was, how can I study the world, a world which I haven't even experienced. My friend Jay and I talk about the balance between experience and responsibility and at this point in my life I am ready to experience: joy, sadness, hunger, desperation, faith, hope, pain, success, trial, and passion. I need to have purpose for the next 4 years of my life. So this is what I've decided to do:

First and foremost, seek the face of God. He is where I discover my purpose and my passion.

Second, spend time with my family. The older I get the more I realize how little time I have left with them and I've missed out on the past 4 years with them, so I'm dedicating 5 quality months to be part of a family.

Third, experience the "real" world. Which is why I'm dedicating 5 months to living in Africa.

Fourth, acquire some skills that will allow me to serve people. Thus I dedicate 3 months to acquiring my Wilderness EMT and my Private Pilot's liscense.

So for those of you who care to know my experiences I've created this blog so that you can stay informed and follow my safari. It's here when you want it and it won't fill up your inbox. Thanks for caring.